100 Days Club: Day 81 – 88 On Old Life

Dear G, I've been so incredibly exhausted that I don't have words for it. Especially not in English.

Especially not late at nights, when I plan to blog but just need to go to bed. Or to take care of the laundry, the

schoolbags, the

excursion-meals or whatever it is…

A short resumé: L also had Tamiflu, but some days later the test said it wasn't the new flu. Thank God? Or should it have been better if it was done and over? I don't know.

But after the doc called it was as if all my worries turned into a great fatigue. A mother is taking responsibility and staying calm in whatever situation, but sometimes another feeling hits her: "I'm too small for this and where is MY MOM?"

Answer: In her greatest carreer… Abroad … Very occupied…

And doesn't want to get sick.

I could do with any grandma or granddad, but as you know we don't have anyone to help us.

Even more exhausting is L's sleeping habits.

When sick, all kids wake up their parents, but L does it for hours. And even when healthy she wakes me up every night. I have a choice: either I go back with her to her bed and lay there for an hour or two until she falls asleep again.

Or I let her sleep in our bed, which means that neither CJ or I sleep well for the rest of the night. People tell me that I should teach her to sleep all night in her own bed. And I say, yes, what a great idea. Welcome! I know I need to be firm and tell her what the rules are, but to do that you have to be strong and not too tired.

And I am too tired. Far too tired…

Speaking of sleep, please read Good Night And Tough Luc k from where I've stolen the illustration.

What else: CJ went to an overnight conference in west coast Gothenburg. Afterwards we were treated with lovely shellfish. Unfortunately, both J and L are crazy about it. And they don't peel themselves.

And more: I've been low. Sunday I was so tired I couldn't even run 4.6 without constantly stopping. I have stress marks in my face. And I do have problems that I need to solve and things in my head that have higher priority than the blog and the club.

There are times when I need to take short breaks from it, otherwise it is more of a burden than a help. And even though great plans are kind of fun to dream about, I think I have to stay realistic. There are so many musts and bad consciences anyway.

You are so enthuastic and such a great support, but sometimes when I look at the blog and see that you've run the double (again) it gets me. And I'm wondering about my English. Am I making a fool of myself? I should do spelling check, but as my blogger is in Swedish I have to copy the text and do spelling check in Word, and then correct it again in blogger. Then every entry would take hours, and I don't have that time.

On the good side: Those last days lack of sleep takes me back to old times, when I needed coffee and some chocolate just to be able to stand up.

This is how tired I've been last week. But there is one big difference. I took a break from the blog, but not the club.

I did run.

Even though I was

so tired I had to stop the sensor and rest.

Twice the 10 k of Lidingöloppet. First time I had to rest a lot, second time I only rested twice, and even ran an extra 1.4 (because of E's challenge).