Day 59 – 65 Forbidden Subject

Hi dear G, I wanted to talk to you about a forbidden subject. I don't mean forbidden because we have agreed that this is not a weightlosing club or -blog, but because losing weight is so difficult to talk about.

It is, I would say, the one subject that is more provocating than sex and money.

Right now, I'm losing weight. People say that I've lost weight. Parents at the preschool that never met me before I had kids say that they never saw me this slim. People that knew me before say that I now look like I used to do before all the pregnancies.

And this is what I would like to answer: it's true that I've lost weight, but I have another 5.5 – 6 kg to lose before I reach my own size.

But of course I can't say that.

Losing weight or wanting to lose weight is ok if you have a severe overweight, like 90–100 k. A medical overweight that is defeted gets everyone enthusiastic. But losing weight for estetical reasons?

Makes people ask themselves: is she getting anorexia?

Or is she saying that I am fat? Why is she offending me like that?

But I'm just saying that I want the body that I had before I turned 36, my own size, the size I think that my body is meant to be and that my muscles and bones are made for. I want the size that I recognize as mine in the mirror.

I don't want anyone elses size.

I want mine.

That is: I'm saying it to you and noone else, because I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want to sound like a teenager (that still didn't get that wanting to lose weight is unmentionable).

And this is how I'm losing weight: I'm running and I keep to good habits.

Since we came home from vacation I've had a summer version of The 100 Days Club Breakfast:

tea, dinkelknäckebröd with cheese, butter and basil, yoghurt with black, red and white currants and water instead of juice or vitamin C-tablets (as I get in natural in the berries).

I have no white bread at all and I try to stick to the two glasses of wine a week (or is it three?) Otherwise I'm not perfect at all.

But I keep losing weight.

Just don't tell anyone…

WORKOUT: I still feel something in my throat. Saturday I ran about 5.64, but I felt so tired and had to stop many times. Have a week to recover, right?

FOOD & DRINKS: We've had a week of party:

Wednesday: The annual picnic of the preschool.

Thursday: my lovely A turned 6 (I should have written a whole entry about how I love her, how special she is and what she means to me, but you know that anyway),

Friday: a dinner party for A with one grandmother, two aunts, one uncle and two cousins. No time to blog. Two small glasses of wine, chocolate cake with raspberries. Forgot to take pics.

Saturday: the annual crayfish party on the street. Had two 3.5‰beers, but nothing stronger. Felt asleep while putting the kids to bed, so it was a very early night.

Sunday: cleaning day in A's school. No glamour, no wine.

But in a week: The big Tjejmilen celebration!