Day 71 – 72 On Regretting

Dear G, I'm a regretter. I could never say Je ne regrette rien, because I've always been regretting.

Mostly I regret minor decisions that people think are to small to reconsider.

But wouldn't it be much worse to regret big decisions? Like where you live, your profession, marriages or (huuh) even children?

To be honest, I'm not even really against regretting. I think that analyzing made decisions is the foundation of any improvement. Everything can optimized, and if that thought doesn't offend or scare, regretting makes life more interesting.

Today I've been regretting that we decided not to run the Tjejmilen. There were some obvious reasons: L had her second bad night, and now high fever. She kept me awake between 1 and 5.30 am. At 7.30 her siblings woke up…

A & J had colds too, and apart from that I was exhausted from not sleeping I felt that I might be turning sick too. At least that would be a fair guess, after hours and hours with the smell of fever in my nose…

So you said I'd be a fool to run, that September 27 is our major goal and that we should be happy with what we have accomplished. That was so nice of you.

But I felt so guilty that I went out and ran the symbolic 4.35 k I needed to reach 200 k.

The sun and that smooth wind made it wonderful, and I felt so much stronger than I did the other day. So another 5.65 didn't seem that far away…

Then I saw E's entry from Tjejmilen on her blog. Then a neighbour came back with her Tjejmilen medal… Proudly telling me that she made it on 1 hour 35 minutes …

I was in a state of shock, but did not tell her I would have done it faster even with the svine flue or anything like it. She started running when 3 k remained…

Anyway, my throat aches more every hour, and yes, we took the right decision.

I repeat: We took the right decision.

I took the right decision.

And as we said so many times before, this is what life is: things happen. When sick kids stop parents from conquer the world they look at their children and say: You are everything that I wished for. And then they choose a new day to conquer the world.

There will take a lot to stop me from running Lidingö tjejlopp.

And yes, I'm serious about the skiing. I've read the article you linked to and I'm sure that we can figure out a good way to train for 30 k cross country skiing in February.

Another suggestion: E is running Hässelbyloppet, 10 k just outside Stockholm October 11. Would you join a Run with E team?

And should we run Premiärmilen, 10 k in Djurgården March 28?

Let's make plans after Tuesday yoga!

Goodnight says your most tired friend

C

ps balloons from A's birthday party, a great success with everything she wished for. I only regret that I forgot to take pictures during the party. Nothing else, I promiss you.